Things the N Says


The N can shock through what they say.  Here’s a list of what has fallen upon my ears from the Ns in my life:

MiL: ‘Her (MiL’s friend) granddaughter I guess is cute.  I mean she is cute for a girl.  Boys are naturally cuter than girls.  Boys are just beautiful.’  My MiL has only sons.

MiL (speaking to her friend who has only daughters at a dinner with family): ‘It is better to have boys.  You don’t have to pay a SINGLE CENT for a wedding.’

NFF tells me that her husband’s uncle just died (this is the third family member of her husband’s that has died within 6 months).  The next thing she says, ‘Now, who am I going to invite to my birthday party.’  NO WORDS!

NFF and Me had a really bad manager at work.  NFF says, ‘He should be fired for how he treats me and after he is fired he should be unemployed for at least 6 months to a year for his punishment.’  I was in shock but I could respond to this one, ‘He has a family to support, isn’t the important thing that we don’t report to him anymore.’  NFF responds, ‘No, he needs to be punished.’

NMF says to his wife, NFF (both are Ns), ‘That is my money, I earn the money and that is my money and how I want to spend is how I am going to spend it.’

Upon asking my NFF coworker to stop telling me how many calories are in food everyday at lunch, she says, ‘You are so sensitive.  I’m telling you because you don’t know.  You are really very sensitive.’

8 thoughts on “Things the N Says

  1. Yep, so much like a Narcissist! It’s weird how many clunkers they can drop in casual conversation.

    One thing I never got over was their ability to shock me with their insensitivity. I guess that’s a good thing, in a way.

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  2. Hi there!

    The list is soooo long…it is shocking…when I hear a comment from N I am in shock that I can’t respond…so I find myself not addressing right away. It’s a good thing…for sure…I think the shock can turn into predicability from the N… Gonna check out your blog!

    T Reddy

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    • It is unbelievable the number of times Ns say this…it is one of those…if I had a nickel for every time I heard it…I would be a millionaire…kind of situations. Yup…you said it…the paradox in the N way of thinking is mind boggling…keeps us scratching our heads…we are so off-guard most of the time that we can’t respond to their behaviors.

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  3. I have found it very interesting reading these posts, I am sure one of my friends is an N…she says quite unkind things,that knock me off my feet, and I am generally so shocked, I can’t respond immediately. When I bring them up at a later date, she denies saying them or cant remember (I have pointed that I think it is odd that she can remember something from years ago (usually a negative thing), but cant remember what she has said a few months ago, then she says I am twisting what she said around. I have now got to the stage where I have stepped away from the friendship (I thought it was going to be without fuss, agh, not so).
    She also says unkind things to me about her other friends, and when I point this out, she says she is just telling it like it is. I would be very naive if i thought I wasnt also the subject of her gossip, if her friends knew what she has said and that she has not kept confidences, I am sure they would not believe it…I think it is not the right thing to do to pass on such hurtful things, then I feel almost complicit in her behaviour.
    We have known each other for many years, but it is only in the past 10 years, she has been like this. Mutual friends tsk tsk about my ending a friendship of so long, but I need to look after myself…and find I no longer really enjoy her company.
    I find it sad that our friendship has now reached this point, and haven’t made this decision lightly…now I have to begin to rebuild part of my life and am hoping to make more positive friendships

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    • Hi Owlygirl,
      Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry to hear about your N friend. The methods of the N are mind boggling that we can not respond immediately…it appears they use it to keep us off guard. The ‘selective’ memory is terrible…it makes one go crazy.

      It is a difficult and sad decision and the mutual friends buzzing in your ear does not help. I know that you have strength…the reason I know this is because for all of us having to deal with an N in our lives it somehow develops an inner strength…a strength that no one sees or hears…it is within us…it helps us look after ourselves. Each of us dealing with N, in the end, needs to come to the decision that is best for her or him. I wish you well as you take your decision and make more positive friendships.
      Thank you for reading.

      x
      T Reddy

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  4. I recently lost an N friend because I told her I had to put 3 little boundaries in place: no more giving her hundreds of dollars/ no more saying horrible things about mutual friends/ I don’t like full frontal body smash bear hugs that go on for 5 seconds, but light quick hugs are great. She called me “ridiculous and cruel” and broke off. It was actually a relief. She wrote a mass email to all our mutual friends about how cruel I am, saying that I had hurt her during a time of great need and dumped her. One mutual friend has cut all contact with me. She’ll be next on the chopping block.

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