The Year of the (Scape)Goat

The 19th of February will mark the beginning of the year of the goat/sheep according to the Chinese calendar.  Astrology (and the internet) reveal these common traits:

Goats are kind-hearted, trustful and are not fond of change.

And I also read they are very sensitive.  Hah!  It was listed as a weakness.  I think, for only a moment, the universe is part of the ‘joke’ that took me a while to figure out – that humans can’t be goats!

Well, whether it is Chinese astrology or your very dysfunctional family, Scapegoats make the universe and the dysfunction go round and round.  It never stops.  Until the Scapegoat sees that there is a problem (other than themselves) and actually wants to change.  It can happen even when the stars are not aligned.  Go Goats!

Domesticating Molding a Scapegoat in a family involves placing blame until the child  automatically does so herself, on cue.  The only thing required to keep the goat contained is control.   Control keeps the universe from collapsing (or in this case, the system).  Usually, someone literally collapses because it is exhausting to keep a fragile system spinning in orbit.

Goat

Playing the Scapegoat is like an actual goat in the pasture eating unwanted vegetation.  When you think you have tamed the pasture, new weeds have already sprouted up elsewhere.  It works because the Scapegoat can be trusted to do the repetitive job, even our strengths are weaknesses!

As a Scapegoat, you can make all the noise you want but it isn’t until your duties get neglected that everyone pays attention.  Everyone starts to react to the uncontrollable weeds in the backyard (but not actually doing anything about it).  The only thing more off putting than looking at all the weeds is the neighbors commenting on the unkept yard.  Oh my!  Surely something’s wrong with the goat, what shall they do?  Weed killer and mulch, although acceptable alternatives, require too much work, unlike a peaceful goat grazing.

And unlike a peaceful goat, I started to become angry and then, a lot of stuff became uncomfortable around me.  The past years in recovery I felt changes even when no one around me could see them.  I was a human dressed in a goat costume and it was getting really itchy.  I still have a long way to go to get that darn costume off – it was sewn on with love and care intricate stitching.  However, parts are beginning to fray.

Astrology and the goat’s early domestication by humans have led us astray from the true nature of the goat.  The goat will readily return to its wild (feral) state and she is an intelligent, curious creature willing to explore unfamiliar territory (contradictory to the notion she is not fond of change).  Goats live symbiotic with man, serving purposes like milk, butter, cheese, clothing and removal of unwanted vegetation.  But with any symbiotic situation, some basic principles must be remembered to maintain harmony – the weeds are NOT the goat’s fault!

Happy New Year!  All the best to everyone for a healthy 2015!

Footnote to the New Year

I found this article revealing about the trait of procrastination as I try to move forward this year.  A timely article.  😉

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Cheers to Three!

Happy New Year to You!

Thank You so much for all the support going into the visit with my FOO and DH’s FOO.  I thought of your supportive words and I made it!  I will share the highlights of the visit in the next few posts.

It is already half way through the first month of the new year and I still have the sensations that the year is still brand new.  I finally get to celebrate the fact that the visit with my dysfunctional relationships is over!

The other thing that I get to celebrate when the year changes is the anniversary of this blog.  Three years!  It feels like a short time and yet so much has happened since I began the journey with all of you.  This past year was filled and I had fun getting to discover new blogs and having real conversations with many bloggers.  I continue to learn so much about a subject that encompasses a large part of our lives and yet does not define who we are.

As I look forward to this new year I take with me the kindest but yet hardest message to swallow, that I am enough even when I am making mistakes, even when I fail, even when I behave badly to a good friend, even when I am angry.  It makes my stomach cringe to even write this down but writing it down does help me pass through it.  It is why I am looking ahead to another year of being here – to read, listen and share.

Here’s to you all, here’s to 2014!

Love, TR