The Year of the (Scape)Goat

The 19th of February will mark the beginning of the year of the goat/sheep according to the Chinese calendar.  Astrology (and the internet) reveal these common traits:

Goats are kind-hearted, trustful and are not fond of change.

And I also read they are very sensitive.  Hah!  It was listed as a weakness.  I think, for only a moment, the universe is part of the ‘joke’ that took me a while to figure out – that humans can’t be goats!

Well, whether it is Chinese astrology or your very dysfunctional family, Scapegoats make the universe and the dysfunction go round and round.  It never stops.  Until the Scapegoat sees that there is a problem (other than themselves) and actually wants to change.  It can happen even when the stars are not aligned.  Go Goats!

Domesticating Molding a Scapegoat in a family involves placing blame until the child  automatically does so herself, on cue.  The only thing required to keep the goat contained is control.   Control keeps the universe from collapsing (or in this case, the system).  Usually, someone literally collapses because it is exhausting to keep a fragile system spinning in orbit.

Goat

Playing the Scapegoat is like an actual goat in the pasture eating unwanted vegetation.  When you think you have tamed the pasture, new weeds have already sprouted up elsewhere.  It works because the Scapegoat can be trusted to do the repetitive job, even our strengths are weaknesses!

As a Scapegoat, you can make all the noise you want but it isn’t until your duties get neglected that everyone pays attention.  Everyone starts to react to the uncontrollable weeds in the backyard (but not actually doing anything about it).  The only thing more off putting than looking at all the weeds is the neighbors commenting on the unkept yard.  Oh my!  Surely something’s wrong with the goat, what shall they do?  Weed killer and mulch, although acceptable alternatives, require too much work, unlike a peaceful goat grazing.

And unlike a peaceful goat, I started to become angry and then, a lot of stuff became uncomfortable around me.  The past years in recovery I felt changes even when no one around me could see them.  I was a human dressed in a goat costume and it was getting really itchy.  I still have a long way to go to get that darn costume off – it was sewn on with love and care intricate stitching.  However, parts are beginning to fray.

Astrology and the goat’s early domestication by humans have led us astray from the true nature of the goat.  The goat will readily return to its wild (feral) state and she is an intelligent, curious creature willing to explore unfamiliar territory (contradictory to the notion she is not fond of change).  Goats live symbiotic with man, serving purposes like milk, butter, cheese, clothing and removal of unwanted vegetation.  But with any symbiotic situation, some basic principles must be remembered to maintain harmony – the weeds are NOT the goat’s fault!

Happy New Year!  All the best to everyone for a healthy 2015!

Footnote to the New Year

I found this article revealing about the trait of procrastination as I try to move forward this year.  A timely article.  😉

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Crazy Busy

The English word ‘busy’ is related to the Dutch word ‘bezig’.  In Dutch, it is commonly used to say: I’m currently working on…referring to “what is occupying your time” rather than “I have a great deal to do”.  In English, we use “busy” for both meanings but in Dutch another word is utilized to mean “I have a great deal to do.”

Druk = busy (adjective); pressure (noun)

But in Dutch, ‘druk’ also means “pressure”.  I find this distinction interesting when I think of the origin of the word “pressure” related to “press”.  And this one word has so much to do with emotional health:

expression

depression

suppression

repression

oppression

compression

On his website writer Tyler Ward shares his views on the utilization of the word “busy” in the English language and shares his efforts to challenge what we currently think about it.  His first post on it “Busy isn’t respectable anymore” was so popular that he followed it yesterday with another post.

“Busy isn’t respectable anymore”

“Becoming less busy isn’t about slowing down”

What do you think?

xxTR

PS. The title of this post “Crazy Busy” refers to a common expression utilized by our FOO and friends.  The answer to the question “how are you?” is often “crazy busy” and when a narcissist in my life says this I have thought – well, you got the first part right, you are crazy. 😉

Further reading:

Myth 4: Much Ado About Nothing