Stories


Hi!

Thank you for visiting the blog today!

(Please note that if you choose to follow the blog via e-mail or Facebook your information will be kept confidential.  Please note that I cannot see a list of names of the followers on Facebook, I can only see this if you are a friend connected to my personal account.)

Every post is a story about an interaction I have had in bad company (dealing with ‘difficult people’).  The stories are random as are the reflections I have.  I share with you stories that have made me laugh and cry, stories that have left me speechless, upset, angry, embarassed, hurt, disappointed, depressed , joyful, hopeful, thankful, awakened.  I do not promise you as a reader to go down any of these emotional paths…I do promise you one thing…true stories.

These stories have all happened with me being present…in the first person.  For this reason I have changed all names.

Every once a while I share inspirations that occur in my life that may or may not be linked to narcissism.

I welcome your comments and your viewpoint.  Challenge what you read in this blog and anywhere else.  Find your own way to healing.

xx TR

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6 thoughts on “Stories

  1. Oh my goodness. That’s a lot of narcissism. I wish that I had awakened decades sooner to the dynamic. My reasoning was a strongly Christian upbringing, and then a spiritual/esoteric philosophy that was precipitated by the death of a boyfriend when I was 21. That set the stage for extremely dysfunctional relationships from age 21 until basically last year (almost 40 years – too long!) I’m glad you have it figured out, and am interested to know how your golden child husband deals with his N mother and staying golden child while being basically healthy and well-adjusted.

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    • Hi Joyful Alive Woman,

      Unfortunately the list is a bit long…I am lucky…a list of true friends exists! I know I have a natural tendency to attract narcissists because of how I developed with an N mother. ‘I am there to please your needs and forget my own.’ So the people in my life that have developed into good friends are narcissists…I am supplying them all the time (until now). The other down side is that this behavior repels true friends. By fulfilling needs of others I come across to emotionally healthy people as ‘fake’ or ‘can’t be yourself’ and that can translate into ‘untrustworthy’.

      You hit it on the head…figuring it out is the key. Because I recognize my part and my behaviors I am literally learning to stand up for myself in a better way.

      The MiL issue is the most difficult one…I will be writing about her soon and how it goes with my fiance…sons view N mothers differently than daughters because of how N mothers deal with them differently. My fiance feels pressure to maintain his golden boy image with his N mother…although he has made progress in standing up to her and wishes he had handled things better earlier when I came into the picture.

      I hope all is well and will catch up with you on your blog!

      T Reddy

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  2. “This need to please is a very poor learned behavior and one that I hope to change.

    I feel similarly: I definitely played a role in the relationship with Ns that other people refused, and this kept the relationship alive. It’s a dynamic more than a one way thing, isn’t it?

    Additionally, post-recovery, it’s hard to differentiate between people pleasing behavior and just being pleasant when making small talk. I guess it’s a learning curve ! 🙂

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  3. Hi PWC!

    You said it…it is a weird dynamic…I can clearly see my role in it all. And you hit the nail on the head..the making small talk vs people pleasing. Glad you are in post-recovery! Thanks for the support! 🙂

    T Reddy

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  4. Sheesh, your blog is good – understand how you recognise narc behaviour coming out – am guilty as sin of it at times, so occasionally stopping self in tracks and avoid people-pleasing.

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    • Hi Kezz!

      Thank you for reading! People pleasing, thankfully, can be unlearned. Glad to hear you are recognizing when you do it…self-compassion becomes important during the self-awareness.

      T Reddy

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