Here are my thoughts on this book (no spoilers):
1. It is not directly related to healing from NPD and not intended for ACoNs (but rather for everyone)
2. It is based on research – which I love – my analytical mind absorbed this stuff; she shares with you her research in a non-researchy way, which I loved even more.
3. Her approach is to talk about what gets in the way – not how-to; my first impression was a little disappointed but her point on focusing on what gets in the way was terrific! And I changed my first impression. She has a great analogy – we all know how to be physically healthy, there are plenty of tools – weight watchers, etc. – but we don’t focus on what stops us from doing the things that are healthy. To me, this can speak to everyone whereas ‘how-to’ stuff doesn’t because each person is different.
4. She shares with you her own struggles. It made the read that much faster.
5. She researched wholehearted people – which is her word for people who I would say are emotionally healthy. It is a positive book that talks about the ugly.
Her main focus is on self-love, you are worthy just as you are. And something we as ACoNs struggle with in an ‘unnatural’ way. What really surprised me was how much wholehearted people deal with the message of unworthiness. They have moments where self-doubt is there and that is natural and they know what to do to deal with it. And that is what we struggle with a lot. That very message of our own worthiness. Our ‘natural’ message of self-worthiness were validated over and over again turning us to a point of ‘unnatural’ messages in our head. Heck, my mother, frequently, if not daily, told me I was worthless – literally.
It was great to understand how wholehearted people live and it was eye-opening. I guess I had the idea of wholehearted people being completely different from me emotionally. It kind of helped me see that my messages were just numerous but well, ‘normal’. Reaffirming her message, we are not alone or separated from emotionally healthy people.
I enjoyed it so much that I pre-ordered her next book, Daring Greatly. It is being launched this week and I hope I get my copy soon!