Waste your money and you’re only out of money, but waste your time and you’ve lost a part of your life. -Michael LeBoeuf
A friend of mine posted this as his status on Facebook. In fact everyday he posts a quote. It is really nice to read them daily.
It got me thinking of N, of course. I do think about the time lost with Ns and not spent with true friends or on my goals. And there seems to be a dip right now in my life. Like the focus I seem to have always had is fading. And who knows what the cycles are in recovery as it is different for all of us. This dip is concerning to me.
I am scared because I have managed to get Ns out of my life. My N meter is very low. The only contact I may have with Ns is through Facebook or e-mail. And that I am happy to say is I have no real N contact.
So, what gives? If I am not wasting my time on Ns what is my deal.
I am still wasting my time. I have to focus on me and that is harder than focusing on them and all their messed-upness. I have to focus on my healing. And I am not doing it. I don’t know how to find the true me. The one that is not lost because I never really developed. So, here is my chance to fully heal. I accept all that is N in my life. And now I have to find me.
I even did some web searches and that didn’t speak to me. Dr. Karyl McBride’s book had a process and the process wasn’t really me (no pun intended). I found her steps great for grieving and accepting the Ns in my life but the next part where I focus on finding myself, lost me.
If anyone has any advice or steps they have tried to finding themselves, I would love to hear it. I am pretty much starting from a clean slate and anything would help.